Ever since I was a child, water has terrified me. As I am about to become a mother in Paris, I return to Cameroon to understand the source of this fear, hoping to mend a broken ancestral bond and pass on a peaceful legacy to my child.

Nke Ntum begins with me, living in Paris and expecting my first child. After an emotional shock following an amniocentesis carried out at three months of pregnancy, I began to examine my relationship with water through the life developing within me, which led me to confront my aquaphobia. At the same time my dreams, always linked to water, intensified, revealing a trauma I experienced at the age of six when I nearly drowned. This personal journey led to a return to Cameroon to learn more about myself and my family, and to understand what might lie at the root of our fear of water. Returning to my family gives way to other characters: my mother and my sister. My mother comes from the aquatic realm and is strictly forbidden from returning there, for fear that she might never come back to us. Driven by a genuine desire to heal, I travel to the coastal villages to be initiated into the ways of the water, where chiefs Henri and Eko help me put the widespread aquaphobia among Africans into context and examine our colonial legacy. To combine African beliefs and practices with modern medicine, I travel to Yaoundé in search of a psychologist who might help me interact with water again. After my baby was born, we made offerings to the water spirits to ask their permission to enter the water, and I took my child, along with volunteers from my village, to learn to swim.

Od djetinjstva me voda užasava. Dok se u Parizu spremam da postanem majka, vraćam se u Kamerun da razumijem izvor tog straha, u nadi da ću popraviti prekinutu vezu sa precima i svom djetetu ostaviti mirno nasljeđe.

Nke Ntum počinje sa mnom, dok živim u Parizu i očekujem svoje prvo dijete. Nakon emotivnog šoka izazvanog amniocentezom u trećem mjesecu trudnoće, počela sam da preispitujem svoj odnos prema vodi kroz život koji se razvija u meni, što me je dovelo do suočavanja sa akvafobijom. Istovremeno su se pojačali moji snovi, uvijek povezani sa vodom, otkrivajući traumu koju sam doživjela sa šest godina, kada sam se zamalo utopila. To lično putovanje odvelo me je nazad u Kamerun, da bolje upoznam sebe i svoju porodicu i razumijem šta bi moglo biti korijen našeg straha od vode. Povratak porodici otvara prostor i drugim likovima: mojoj majci i sestri. Majka potiče iz vodenog svijeta i strogo joj je zabranjeno da mu se vrati, iz straha da nam se nikada ne bi vratila. Vođena iskrenom željom da se izliječim, putujem u primorska sela na inicijaciju u tajne vode, gdje mi poglavice Anri i Eko pomažu da rasprostranjenu akvafobiju među Afrikancima sagledam u kontekstu i preispitam kolonijalno nasljeđe. Da bih afrička vjerovanja i prakse spojila sa savremenom medicinom, odlazim u Jaunde u potrazi za psihologom koji bi mi pomogao da ponovo priđem vodi. Nakon rođenja djeteta prinijeli smo darove vodenim duhovima tražeći dozvolu da uđemo u vodu, a zatim sam svoje dijete, zajedno sa dobrovoljcima iz mog sela, povela na časove plivanja.